


bleed for me

by smlinjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-28 09:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20061739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smlinjun/pseuds/smlinjun
Summary: it’s three am, they were talking about aliens and ghost until renjun broke down & all jaemin could do is to hold him tighter, to prevent him from breaking even more





	bleed for me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wineandsoju](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wineandsoju/gifts).

> a/n: this is mostly inspired by the song bleed for me by escape the fate,,,, so i’d recommend you to listen to that while reading ig? and i also decided to write this because jaemin's hug looked so warm and comforting... i hope you'd enjoy this
> 
> p.s. i'd also like to thank ate sun for being there always specially when my heart felt like it was deteriorating alr, so i'd like to dedicate this one to you.

jaemin entered renjun’s room when it was 2:45 am, the way the other asked for him to come and talk about aliens is so endearing and captivating—but it’s not like jaemin would ever admit that to the older.

the moment he step foot in the other’s room, jaemin saw renjun looking tired and so out of it.

_**“hey, are you okay?”**_ jaemin asked, in the softest way possible.

_**“it’s fine, premed is just kicking my ass again”**_ renjun stopped to let out a little chuckle, **_“hey, how come it’s not coming for yours?”_ **renjun added this time. both are taking up premed, they just differ in majors.

**_“it’s because, college isn’t hectic right now.”_ **jaemin said firmly, **_“we’re in the same school and department junnie, you can’t lie to me. tomorrow is literally a free day for the healthcare allied professions.”_**

_**“it’s tomorrow?” **_renjun asked innocently, and jaemin just nodded 

**_“like tomorrow tomorrow or later tomorrow? it’s literally 2 am jaems”_ **renjun uttered, and just like that he was able to change the topics into ghosts and aliens—jaemin didn’t want to pry or intrude, so if the shorter didn’t want to talk about it. he just let it slide.

\-- 

it’s almost 4 am now, they’ve been talking about aliens and ghosts for almost two hours,**_ “so would you naruto run your way to area 51, if it ever exists?”_** jaemin asked, even if this is literally nonsensical—he’d still do it because it’s renjun.

what caught him off guard is that renjun started crying, he legitimately didn’t know what to do except to pull the older into a tight hug and ask him in the softest way possible,_** “hey, what’s wrong?”**_

_** "i'm sorry if i'm like this, i really am." **_renjun uttered in muffled voice while crying on jaemin's chest.

_**"something happened right?" **_jaemin asked and he felt renjun nodding against his now loudly beating heart and when he asked what it is, renjun just handed him his phone—it was already unlocked into renjun and jeno's conversation yesterday.

what he read literally broke his heart, not because he's jealous but it felt like it was as if he could feel renjun's pain the moment he read the messages 

_'renjun, wtf is that'_ that was jeno's initial reaction when he received that love meme from renjun

_'you know there's no us, and that there will never be. i thought we talked about this alr.'_ jaemin could feel jeno's anger when he read the other's message

it also broke him when he read renjun's reply, apologizing and asking the other to not be this harsh about it—but it seemed like the other was seething and uncomfortable with what he did.

_ **"i just feel sorry, and it feels like i'm losing a friend. i don't know what to feel. i've been trying so hard to act like myself ever since yesterday but i just couldn't."** _

renjun loved jeno way before jaemin popped up in his life so the younger understands renjun's situation and why he's acting like this.

it was never clear before and the other did seem like he was giving renjun hope, that they'll be together until the end but that's not the case.

_**"he could've worded it nicely, but maybe you needed that. you needed the truth somehow, and he gave that to you." **_jaemin uttered softly while caressing renjun's soft blonde hair.

**_"is it okay that i'm hurting? we were never even together."_** renjun let out a bittersweet smile while letting his tears stream down his puffy eyes

_**"of course it is junnie"**_ jaemin let out a small sigh, **_"your feelings are valid even if you weren't together. just because you weren't a couple, doesn't mean you don't have the right to be sad or for you to feel shitty. you're being like that because you're hurting, and pain doesn't require a label junnie"_** he pulled the shorter into a tighter hug and added,_** "as cliche as this may sound but love isn't love if there's no pain or when you're not risking anything."**_

in turn, renjun nuzzled into jaemin's chest even more—feeling the warmth of his dorm mate's hug.

**_"and injunnie? don't ever apologize for loving someone. sure, you had to apologize because you were bothering him—but that should've ended in that. you don't have to apologize for the way you feel, for liking him, for choosing him? it's not your fault. you can love who you want to even if it's painful because at the end of it all, you'd know if they're worth the pain and if they aren't it's okay—there's nothing wrong with getting your heart broken, the good thing is, now you know. right?"_** _and please know that you're worth all the pain that's killing me right now_, he wanted to add.

suddenly jaemin felt his shirt getting wet all over again, he didn't know what to say anymore so he kissed the crown of renjun's head. giving him a sense of security, to let him know that someone's always there for him.

the room fell silent after jaemin's mini speech about love which made renjun cry, but it was a comfortable one—too comfortable to the point that they had to change their position. jaemin is now resting his chin on renjun's head.

_**"nana? are you still awake?"**_ renjun said softly, the other replied with a humm.

_ **"very much, yes, why?" ** _

_**"i just—uhm, are you in love with someone who can't love you back? it seemed like it came from something deep, something you've already experienced." **_renjun asked

**_"uhm, i do. i can't tell if he'd like me or not, specially that he's broken hearted." _**jaemin answered with a soft smile

**_"whoever he is, he'd be lucky to meet you. you're precious, talented and lovely in general."_** renjun meant it from the pits of his shattered heart.

jaemin continued hugging renjun until he was comfortable enough to fall into a deep slumber, and when the shorter was already asleep—jaemin knew that it was his cue to transfer into his own room.

but an asleep renjun held him by his wrist and said, **_"stay with me please." _**jaemin was so ready to stay until the other mentioned jeno's name, he was calling for him, not jaemin.

that's when jaemin decided to actually leave the older's room—thinking of ways to mend his own after helping the love of his life in mending his.

it's painful, but he is worth the pain.


End file.
